Airports are so anticlimactic

Saying goodbye to someone at an airport is bizarre. When someone leaves to go and live a whole new life in another country it’s a big event. It’s dramatic. People cry usually. It’s a life defining event. And yet when you go to see someone off at an airport it’s such a long, mundane process where you all stand in queues a lot together not really knowing what to say.

My instinct (and the instinct of a lot people I would argue) is to make jokes to break the tension. But jokes aren’t really appreciated at airports. There are signs now telling you under no circumstances are you to make a joke about bombs or you’ll receive a hefty fine. Or be deported. Or strip searched.The irony is that the signs usually make me want to make bomb jokes even more because everyone is so serious and they remind me of how inappropriate (and hilarious) they would be right about now.

My personal favourite from today was asking ‘have you got your wallet?’ to uber stressed out T leaving to live in a foreign country as he stood in line to get his baggage weighed. It’s kind of akin to saying to your mum ‘you turned the iron off right?’ when you’re in the car with the family and you’re almost at your holiday house. Needless to say it wasn’t well received.

Personally, I think jokes at airports should be encouraged. The people who are saying goodbye to people need them or they’ll cry and the people flying need them or their heads will explode…

I think that the airports should employ people to make the process easier. Airports: training grounds for the stand up comedians of the future?



A few hours to go until my flight. As best I can make out, my suitcase is 24.99 kg, just sneaking in under the 25 kg weight limit. I’ll let y’all know¬†whether the¬†airport people share my assessment, or whether they will charge me an extra $400, as they’ve threatened to do if my suitcase weighs in at 25.1.

I gots AUD$20 in my wallet and a fistful of yen, which I imagine will quickly evaporate once I land in Tokyo.

In retrospect, over the past couple of years I wish I’d spent just a little less time playing computer games, and a little more time learning Japanese. On the other hand, computer games are fun.